By Anvi Girish
One of the hardest periods in my life was looking for a job being a dalit, especially as I lived in Gandivana. A few days ago, I quit my job at the GAF, the air force in my country. Back there, all were treated equally, no matter their caste, their religion or even their color. We were thrown into the battlefield and we were meant to comply. I recently fought in World War Two, one of the greatest battles in history. I'm glad to be a survivor, but it's time to put this journey to an end.
I decided my role in the army was over and maybe I should take on the path of my dream career. I decided that in the next chapter of my life, I would be a mechanical engineer. I felt that I should use both my degrees in some form, hence the role of a mechanical engineer was perfect. Before I enrolled for my dream job I needed a place to call home so soon I moved in with Mr and Mrs Iyer. An elderly couple who lived in Bhature street, a small street in the outskirts of Fazilka. I had met them while operating from the base camp during the war and we kept in touch ever since. There I soon felt completely at home and at peace. They both profess to be atheists, but judging by their conduct they exhibited in their daily lives all those attributes which are fundamental to real, active Hindu. They never judged me due to my caste, unlike the rest of Ganivana. After I moved in, I went on a two week vacation to Türkiye with Mr and Mrs Iyer and returned completely refreshed.
Shortly after our return, I visited the appointments office where I was interviewed by two men. They questioned me closely on my academic background, career and experience in industry. I explained that after graduating, I had worked for two years as a communications engineer for the Standard Oil Company at their HMEL's Guru Gobind Singh Refinery (GGSR), earning enough to pay for postgraduate study in Nepal. At the end of the interview they told me that I would be notified of any vacancies suitable to my experience and qualifications. Two weeks later, I received a letter from the appointments office together with a list of three firms.Each of which had vacancies for qualified communications engineers. I promptly wrote to each one stating my qualifications and experience, and soon received very encouraging replies, each with an invitation to an interview. Everything was working very smoothly and I felt on top of the world.
A few days later, I headed to the Thermomax office, one of the first companies where I had an offer. My body shook and shivered as I took a glimpse at the tall building standing before me. This firm had a high international reputation and the thought of being associated with it added to my excitement.Anyway, I reasoned this was the first of the interviews and if I booked here there were still two chances remaining. This morning, I did a great deal of care with my appearance. I was wearing my best suit with the right shirt and tie and pocket handkerchief. My shoes were smartly polished, my teeth were well brushed, and I was wearing my best smile. All this had passed the very critical inspection of Mr. and Mrs. Iyer, with whom I lived. A well uniformed guard, opened the large door for me and pleasantly welcomed me in. As I approached the receptionist, I straightened my back, cleared my throat and confidently said “good morning ma'am.” She gave a warm smile and said “hello, I'm Anita Nayak. May I help you?” “Yes, I'm here for an interview with Mr. Abhinav N” I said. Then the woman said, “Follow me to the waiting room, sir”. I was led to the waiting room by the polite receptionist. On the way she questioned me about my birthplace, my past and unexpectedly my religion and caste. Once we reached the room, she asked me to take a seat. I took a seat and comforted myself. In the act of confidence, I fixed a few wrinkles on my coat and took a few deep breaths. Meanwhile, she called someone and mumbled a few words on her telephone. A minute later I was called and taken to the meeting room.
Opening the door of that room felt like opening a door to a whole new world. Immediately, a gentleman raised from his chair and put his hands together as a gesture for welcoming me and said, “Namaste, I’m Abhinav Nagraj”. I smiled back and said “Hello sir”. I slowly took a seat, that was the seat that decided my future. After a brief inquiry into my place of birth and social service experience, they began to question me closely on telecommunications and the development of electronics in that field. The questions were studied, deliberate, and suddenly the nervousness which had plagued me all morning disappeared. Now I was confident, at ease with a familiar subject. They questioned me on theory, equipment, circuits, operation, on my training in Nepal, on my experience there and in Puramvi. They were tough but I was relaxed now. The years of study, field work and postgraduate research were about to pay off, and I knew that I was holding my own and even enjoying it.And then it was all over Mr.Nagraj, the gentleman who had welcomed me, leaned back in his chair and looked from one to another of his associates. They nodded to him and he said, “Mr. Subramanian, my associates and I are completely satisfied with your replies and feel sure that in terms of qualification, ability and experience. You are abundantly suited to the post we have in mind but we are faced with a certain difficulty. Society would not allow a scheduled caste employee to have such a high ranking job. We feel such an appointment would inversely affect the balance of good relationship which is always obtained in this firm. We could not offer you that pose without the responsibility. Neither would we ask you to accept the one or two other vacancies of a different type which do exist, for they are unsuitable for someone with your high standard of education and ability. So I'm afraid we will not be able to use you.” This shattered my heart and confidence. I tried to put on a strong face and said, “Thanks for your time. Goodbye.” and walked out of the room.
I held back my emotions until I exited the building. Then I ran back to the one place I felt secure, the house of the Iyer’s. There I felt violently sick, knowing that this was all due to my caste, I just felt worse. As I gave it more thought, I was suddenly struck by a new realization. Those folks must have looked at my name on the application forms and immediately assumed that I was a non-scheduled caste. There was nothing about the name Subramanian to indicate my caste, so the flowery letters and pleasant invitation to interview were really intended for the applicants of the other castes they imagined me to be. Acting on a sudden impulse, I went into a telephone booth and in turn called the 2 remaining firms. I explained that I wanted to let them know that I was a dalit. But I would be very happy to attend the interview if my caste was no barrier to employment. I was thanked for telephoning, but informed that the post had already been filled and it had been their intention to write to me to that effect.
This made me think of Puramvi and miss it to a certain extent. Back in Puramvi, Hindus got the things they wanted and were important to them and if not, they would fight and die for it and those who died did not give their lives in vain. Furthermore, the Hindus in Puramvi have been generally established in communities in which their abilities as laborer, artisan, doctors, lawyer, scientist, educator, and entertainer have been directly or indirectly of benefit to that community. In Gandivana found things to be very different. I've yet to meet a single Gandivanan who has actually admitted to being a casteist. It is even generally believed that no such thing exists here. But you will never know the truth until you experience it yourself. As I gave it more thought, I realized that fine differentiation was now very important. I would need to re-examine my whole future in terms of this new appraisal.The war was over, and I must forget that period. People were settling down once again to a pattern of life free from terror and communal fears. I must find a job. I was not asking for handouts, but offering for a higher retrained mind and healthy body. Surely there must be some employer who would be more interested in my trained usefulness to him than my caste. My savings and gratuity would last about two years, so I had time. Plenty of time to find the right employer.
By Anvi Girish
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