The Hostel Menace

By Jameel Shahid Raza

Hello people, I am Jameel, 18 years old, I am currently pursuing engineering. I live in hostel which is free for the students of this university. and I can probably imagine that you can imagine how things work where things are free of cost. So yeah, Bathrooms of a boys' hostel... Probably the cleanest things to SURVIVE while taking a shit, right?. I mean, genuinely, no matter where you throw your sight in that bathroom, the floor is always shining yellow, half the doors are well cracked and the other half of them, I hope they exist at least in the parallel universe. And when you wake up and rush to do your morning tasks, it feels like around 20 members are already playing a free-for-all match and no one's winning. The walls are open at one end top corner of the wall for ventilation. This BATHROOM, is a common shelter for all kinds of commonly found animals of the Indian roads. Dogs, Monkeys... you name it. So as everyday, I was preparing myself for this thing, to take shit. It was raining quite heavily. This was then when it is not often, that a community with their uncountable joint families started ambushing the bathroom. I was listening to the chaos happening in there and no, I was not terrified at all, because its a boys' hostel... which is free of cost. I was surviving quite well though, I know I wasn't alone, hearing all the noise outside, well... I assumed so. I was just about to complete my mission in there only to look at that top corner of the wall and realise that the little brother monkey from one of those families was watching me all along. We started staring at each other, I thought he was offended... suffocating in the scent I was spreading all along. And suddenly, he ran away. What a relief! I went back to my room in stealth and the room door was luckily open. Most of the students from our neighbouring rooms went to attend their classes. I ran into my room and locked it from the inside. I took my phone right away and called my "The free of cost hostel" roommate. He lifted the call and I was very sure that he was terrified just by hearing to his tone. He said he was in bathroom, he carried on saying, "I came in just after you and I forgot to lock our room door". I asked whether there are any monkeys around. "Armies bro", he replied. Okay, Mission update, gotta save him now. He started panicking in the call, his voice trembling and him freaking out that the monkey jumped on into his toilet. They were SURVIVING in that space together! I started panicking alongside, yet asking him, "Is it the little guy with you in the toilet?"

"What little guy bro!?

"I mean... the monkey."

"How do I know whether its a guy or not bro!!?"

"Never mind. What should I know?"

"I should be the one asking that bro!!!"

"Fine!"

"What should I do now bro!!!?"

"Don't move"

"..."

"Hello?"

"..."

"Hello!!?"

"It bit my ankle!! I'm bleeding..."

"And the little brother?"

"...went away"

I ran on my toes with no second thought, I barely weigh 50 kgs going to confront with an army of the monkey defense lines at the entrances of the bathroom. And he weighs enough that he can clutch that whole community single handedly. I started shouting way before entering the bathroom, calling out for him to figure out where he was. I went in successfully without letting even one of the monkeys reach me. He was struggling, shouting, calling for help. He couldn't stand or walk properly and also because the whole bathroom was filled with the "non-humans", he kept himself locked in his toilet room. I came into the room he was in along with cotton, he's injured. I washed the bleeding and wrapped the cotton around his ankle. Now we are both locked in there, no idea how to get out. The only common thing that I and these monkeys outside had is that either of us were quite offended by the scent that my roommate had spread until this moment. Now I know why the monkeys were screaming even before I entered the battle ground. Defending the same position inside for 10 minutes. We decided it is not good for his wound to be kept not treated for longer time since that would risk him an infection or something even worse. So we planned to run in the same manner I came in a moment ago. I unlocked the door, peaked and confirmed that there was nothing around. We sprinted towards our room. My roommate's ankle was getting even worse when he tried to stand or walk. He fell after a little run, just out of the bathroom, so hard that his falling made the army panic against us. I can't just leave him behind so I ran back to him, lifting him up and meanwhile, the monkeys already started tugging our pants, trying to pull us back while we barely began to run after I lifted him. One of the monkeys gouged the same ankle where he was injured earlier. He was not well for a fluent walk and he definitely can't run. I am all good physically but was panicking about his situation. He was getting weaker because of the blood loss and eventually fainting and that made me panic even more. I started sweating, so much that he was slipping out of my arms even if I kept pulling him back on me. The monkeys were shouting from a distance, they were moving when we moved and we were struggling to even stand. I lifted him on my back, I don't know whether what the monkeys will do after we barely started to move. I decided to take him to the hospital which was around 200 metres away from where we are standing. The monkeys stopped chasing us, having no idea why they did so, without using my energy thinking about it. I put my all to take him to treatment. After a lot of struggled walk, we finally reached the hospital. He was treated, Though the injury was quite bad. It didn't turn out to be very worse after the treatment. They gave him medicine and eventually after two days he was stable and fine. Strict measures against the trespassing of all the other animal communities to the places like bathroom were taken. I went to him with fruits. Bananas, to be specific.

"Did anyone follow you bro?", he asked.

"Why would anyone follow me?"

"Bananas bro!"

"Oh! Monkeys?"

"Yes.."

"Safety measures were taken against such possibilities. No need to worry"

"Oh thank god bro."

"Well... I have a doubt to ask."

"Sure bro. Go ahead"

"Why did you take phone to the bathroom the other day!?"

"Oh that...", he hesitated, while I was staring dead at him.

The doctor showed up out of nowhere saying that he can be discharged tomorrow and I need to leave this instant to let him get enough rest.

THE END

By Jameel Shahid Raza