Apr 2414 min read

For All Time

Updated: May 10

By Animesh Yadav

Standing at the entrance, Ekansh took in the familiar sight: the weathered doormat, the creaky wooden door, and the faded curtains that had adorned this guest house, unchanged for two decades. Amidst a world rushing with the internet and social media, this serene spot outside Shimla remained an anchor, offering him solace in its constancy. Yet, alongside the unchanged scenery, his loneliness lingered as the only other unwavering companion.

Entering the reception, Ekansh was greeted by a warm smile from Raghuveer, the lodge's owner. Despite the changes in his appearance over the years, from a head of hair to a bald scalp, Raghuveer's friendly demeanour remained steadfast, untouched by time.

“Hello, Uncle,” Ekansh said politely, “how are you?”

“I’m good, beta,” Raghuveer replied, beaming. He was approaching seventy. The burden of time had made his shoulders droop. Yet, his hearty smile didn’t diminish even a bit. “Your room has been cleaned and ready. Here are your keys.”

Ascending the stairs with keys in hand and bag slung over his shoulder, Ekansh reminisced about his twenty-year bond with the guest house. Despite its dwindling fortunes, he remained its steadfast patron, drawn back each year by nostalgia and loyalty. This place, imbued with his fondest memories, held a significance that stirred his soul. Learning of its impending closure, Ekansh couldn't bear to see it fade away, prompting him to invest his own savings to keep it afloat. For him, this lodge was more than just a business; it was a sanctuary he couldn't bear to lose.

Having finished lunch at the nearby restaurant, Ekansh ventured up the road before veering off onto a path. Traversing the terrain, he descended the slope until he reached the cliff's edge. Seating himself, he idly twirled a pebble, gazing out at the vast expanse before him.

Every July's end, Ekansh would journey to Shimla, spending a week in this very spot, gazing at the sky. Below, the tranquil valley held an air of mystery. The rushing river's melody against the rocks offered solace, yet his heart craved the passage of time. With closed eyes, he revisited the pages of their history, a ritual spanning over two decades. This place, once theirs, held the essence of their love.

***

"Shh, Maa, it's alright," Sarika murmured, comforting her tearful mother. Darika's embrace tightened as emotions overflowed. Amidst the bustling crowd, passengers hurried to their seats, eager to settle into their berths before departure. Though time lingered before the train's journey, the rush remained constant.

The past year had been relentless for the poor woman. First, the tragic loss of her father and brother in a brutal car accident the previous August. Then, just three months ago, the revelation of her husband's infidelity shattered her newfound stability. Just as she began to recover from her father and brother's deaths, the news of her husband's affair hit her like a blow to the face, leaving her reeling with pain, heartbreak, and disbelief.

"I can stay if you want," Sarika offered, her outward composure masking the turmoil within. The revelation had stirred a profound disgust in her heart. She longed to weep alongside her mother, yet she recognised the necessity of being the rock for her in this moment of turmoil. As the eldest, she felt the weight of responsibility to remain a steadfast support for her mother amidst the storm of emotions.

“No,” refused Darika, pulling away, she wiped the tears off her face, “You shouldn’t sacrifice your studies on my account.”

“You are more important to me, Maa,” Sarika cupped her mother’s face.

“You shouldn’t skip classes on my accord. I’ll be fine,” Darika replied.

“You need someone right now. Let me be with you,” Sarika pleaded.

“I’ll be fine,” said Darika, putting up a brave face.

“Then promise me, you’ll do what the doctor suggested. You’ll go on that trip. Have a change of environment and scenery, as the doctor suggested. Promise me, you won’t let your depression claim victory over you,” Sarika pleaded. Her mother’s mental health was her primary concern.

“I promise you,” Darika said, forging herself to smile. “Sumit,” she turned to her son, who had been cutting a lonely figure beside her and his sister, “don’t blame yourself,” she requested, wrapping her arms around him. Sumit remained unmoved, his arms fixed by his side. Patting his back, Darika added, “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong,” she pulled away and held her son’s face in her palms, “You need to be strong. You need to take care of yourself and your older sister. You need to forgive yourself. Promise me you will do that.”

Despite Darika’s efforts, Sumit’s gaze remained fixed on his toes. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his mother’s teary face. He was mad, not at Darika but at himself. He blamed himself for his mother’s suffering, but mainly, Sumit blamed his father.

Three months ago, everything was terrific and cheerful in his life. He couldn’t wait for the semester break to start so that he could return home. But now, he desperately wished he hadn’t come home at all.

One night, like any other hormonal teen, Sumit decided to fire up his laptop, plugin his headphones, and look up adult videos online. He was aimlessly browsing through the site when he came across a video. A short clip shot on a phone.

Initially, all Sumit could see was the woman's body on screen. As the camera panned, revealing the man's face, shock engulfed him. His eyes denied the truth at first, but upon a closer look, disgust churned in his stomach. The man in the video was his own father, caught in the act of infidelity. The leaked video had laid bare a painful reality, shattering Sumit's world.

Sumit wandered aimlessly, a ghost haunted by his father's betrayal. The mere sight of the man filled him with revulsion, making him retch. Conversations with Darika dripped with sympathy while his father's inquiries met with a torrent of angry, violent responses.

Despite Darika's persistent inquiries fuelled by maternal concern, Sumit remained evasive, dismissing her questions as insignificant. However, as his demeanour towards their father persisted unchanged, Sarika resolved to have a late-night conversation with her younger brother.

“What is happening with you?” Sarika demanded; her voice soft. Sumit remained quiet; his gaze fixed on the floor. “I know something is bothering you, but what is it?” she asked, “did you fail in any of your subjects?”

Sumit gazed at his sister, weighing his options. With a heavy exhale, he opened his laptop and revealed the video to her. As Sarika watched, a wave of nausea swept over her. Her father's actions not only repulsed her but also stirred a deep sense of shame in her own identity as his child.

While her brother bore his suffering in silence, Sarika allowed her tears to flow freely. Embracing Sumit tightly, she wept until her eyes could cry no more. After composing herself, she turned to him and spoke softly, "We have to show this to Maa."

“It will destroy our lives and our family,” Sumit protested, but there was no firmness in his voice.

“Our family is already destroyed. There’s nothing left of it,” Sarika argued, “but keeping it from Maa would be wrong. She deserves to know.”

Sumit, wrestling with inner conflicts, voiced his dissent reluctantly. He acknowledged the hierarchy between them, recognising Sarika's authority as his elder sibling. He knew he couldn't dissuade her; her determination was unwavering. Moreover, deep down, he questioned if halting Sarika was truly what he desired. The mere sight of his father filled him with revulsion, his actions in the video staining their relationship irreparably.

***

Exiting her car, Darika shuffled into her house, her spirit utterly depleted. Collapsing against the door, she sank to the floor, burying her head between her knees as a wail escaped her lips. Her cries reverberated through the empty house, echoing in the hollow shell she had become in recent days.

There was no one to comfort her. No one to soothe her. She was all alone. Her husband had left just three days after the truth came out, and she had filed for divorce a week after that. Once her tears subsided, Darika composed herself and busied herself with cleaning the already pristine house. Though unnecessary, she felt compelled to sift through old belongings, seeking a distraction from her unravelling life. Determined, she resolved to tackle the clutter in the storage room, separating the valuable from the disposable, a task she hoped would provide some semblance of order amidst the chaos of her emotions.

Lost in her task, Darika remained unaware of the passage of time. Seated on the floor by the storeroom door, she diligently sorted through boxes and belongings. Some items were returned to storage, while the rest were earmarked for disposal, destined for the hands of a scavenger.

As the clutter diminished, Darika's gaze fell upon a small wooden box nestled in the corner, its size no larger than her hand. Curiosity piqued, she pondered its contents, unable to recall its significance. Suspecting it might belong to her ex-husband, she resolved to open it, prepared to return any items to him if necessary.

As the lid lifted, tears welled in Darika's eyes. Inside lay an old watch, its leather strap and golden dial holding memories frozen in time. The hands, once markers of moments, now remained still, halted by either a dead battery or the passage of years. Yet, neither obstacle could deter the flood of memories that washed over her, deepening her anguish.

The watch served as a poignant reminder of past happiness, a time when life felt like a beautiful dream. Yet, it also stirred feelings of regret, a symbol of her capitulation to parental expectations. Cradling it gently against her chest, Darika embraced the watch as if it were a precious infant. With closed eyes, she surrendered to a flood of memories, pondering what her life might have been had she chosen to marry Ekansh years ago.

***

Late for her first college class, Darika grappled with the unfamiliarity of independence, far from her mother's morning wake-up calls. Accustomed to her mother's routine back home, she now relied on alarm clocks in her new environment, though adjusting to the change would take time.

Racing through the University gates and up the grand staircase, Darika reached the dais where the list of first-year students' names, courses, and classrooms was posted. The area lay deserted, classes already in session. Only one other figure joined her, scanning through the lists in search of information.

She mumbled her enrolment number under her breath while her finger scrolled down the columns of all ten lists pinned up on the board. Twice, she ran her finger over it and yet missed it completely.

“Here,” the boy finally pointed out, “Room E5.”

“Thanks,” Darika responded with a courteous smile, “would you be kind enough to point in the right direction?” she requested humbly.

“I’m looking for the same classroom, too,” the boy replied, smiling.

“So, you are my classmate!” muttered Darika.

“It appears to be,” the boy replied.

“I’m Darika,” she introduced herself, shooting her hand in his direction.

“I’m Ekansh,” the boy shook her hand gently.

***

Gazing out the window, Darika's finger traced circles along the edge of the watch's dial as the bus ascended into the mountains. Retrieving the old timepiece after many years, she wasn't certain if it still functioned. To her amazement, the watch only required a simple battery replacement, reviving memories long forgotten.

A token from Ekansh during their last year of college, the watch symbolised their deepening bond. Their friendship blossomed quickly, evolving into a profound love that consumed their world by the end of their first year.

Perched on the mountain's edge, they watched the sunset, Ekansh surprising her with the watch as a birthday gift. Their love had deepened to the point of inseparability, their lives intertwined with an unbreakable bond. Later, in the quiet of their hotel room, they shared their first intimate moment, sealing their connection in a tender embrace.

Despite their deep love, they were forced to part ways. Ekansh's humble background and lower caste clashed with Darika's parents' expectations. Threatened with disownment, Darika faced an agonising choice between love and familial approval.

In a moment of rebellion, Darika voiced her wish to marry Ekansh, but he understood her too deeply. Aware of her love for her parents and the potential toll on their married life, he gently encouraged her to heed her parents' wishes and seek someone else. Probably the one they deemed fit.

“Would you be able to find someone else?” Darika asked, tears falling from her eyes. Ekansh stayed quiet and stared at his toes, trying to hide his tears. She knew that the answer would be ‘No.’ Their love was pure enough to stand the test of time, but society was cruel to them.

As time passed, Darika buried memories of Ekansh deep within, a necessary act to move forward. She struggled to let go, reminding herself of her commitment to her husband. Ekansh's principles of loyalty echoing inside her head. Much of Ekansh's gifts were discarded after her marriage, deemed incompatible with her new life. The watch, a relic of their past, was relegated to a forgotten corner until unearthed during the cleaning spree.

The sight of the watch reignited memories of their shared moments, stirring regret within Darika. She pondered the alternate path she could have taken, imagining a life with Ekansh free from the pain she now endured. Cursing her decision, she recognised the punishment for breaking his heart and abandoning their shared dreams. Now, her own happiness lay shattered, a consequence of her choices.

In a quiet whisper to her heart, Darika expressed her wish for Ekansh's happiness, wherever he may be. Despite the lack of contact since their breakup two decades ago, the thought

brought a measure of solace to her troubled mind. Knowing that he deserved happiness eased some of the weight of her own regrets.

Approaching Shimla, the refreshing mountain breeze provided relief from the sweltering July heat. Initially reluctant, despite her therapist and daughter's urging, Darika felt a sudden longing ignited by the watch to revisit the place where she shared her last moments with Ekansh before their permanent separation.

In recent days, memories of Ekansh had brought solace to Darika's heart, prompting her to seek refuge in reliving their past moments. She harboured no illusions of encountering him in Shimla, nor did she harbour any expectations of a reunion. Rather, she merely yearned to immerse herself in the city that had once been the backdrop to their profound love.

Exiting the bus and retrieving her luggage, Darika hailed a taxi, instructing the driver to take her to the guest house where she and Ekansh had once stayed during their college days. She marvelled at her ability to recall the address perfectly after two decades, a testament to its indelible imprint on her memory.

As the taxi ascended the road, Darika observed the transformation that had swept through the city over the years. Once quaint houses and local hangouts had given way to grand residences and luxury hotels. The humble Himalayan town had blossomed into a bustling tourist hub, its streets now teeming with foreigners exploring the mountain vistas.

Despite her husband's repeated invitations, Darika consistently declined trips to Shimla. The mere mention of the town evoked memories of her unfinished love story, causing discomfort to bubble up within her, as it did now in the cab. To her, revisiting those memories felt like a betrayal, akin to cheating on her husband. Darika prided herself on her loyalty and refused to

indulge in actions that would compromise it, making the subsequent revelation all the more painful.

Approaching the front door, Darika observed that the guest house remained unchanged amidst the city's evolution, like a relic frozen in time, beckoning her return. Stepping inside, she noted the absence of familiar faces among the ageing decor; however, Raghuveer's warm smile and familiar demeanour reassured her of the place's continuity. Despite the passage of time, the essence of the guest house remained intact, a comforting reminder of her past. ***

As the sun descended, Ekansh rose from his spot, unable to bear witness to the sunset like he did in years past. The memory of watching it with Darika by his side stirred his heartache, a painful reminder of his profound loss. He couldn't risk tarnishing her memory, as it had been his sole source of solace throughout the years, driving him forward in life.

Despite never entertaining the notion of a reunion, Ekansh found himself unable to commit to marriage with anyone else. He recognised that he could never replicate the depth of love he felt for Darika. To enter into a marriage with another woman under false pretences would have been unjust, so he chose to remain single for over two decades.

As he turned to leave, Ekansh was suddenly struck with disbelief. Standing before him was the face that had filled his dreams for decades. Though time had etched lines of maturity, Darika's presence still radiated the same beauty he remembered from their college days.

Darika, having just checked into the guest house, decided to take a stroll along their familiar path. Stepping off the road and approaching their special spot, she was startled by the silhouette before her. Despite the glare of the sun, she quickly recognised the man standing there.

Doubt clouded her mind as she blinked, questioning the reality before her. Her heart raced as she struggled to comprehend the surreal moment, unsure of how to react to his unexpected presence. As reality set in, Darika rushed down the slope and embraced him tightly. Her fingers intertwined behind his head as she kissed him with fervour, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Hi,” she said, smiling from behind her tears as they broke off the kiss.

“Hi,” Ekansh replied with a smile. Their gaze held for a while as they admired their reality.

“You are not married, are you?” Darika asked, finally breaking the silence. The question came out spontaneously. It was important to know. She didn’t want herself to be the reason why he’d feel guilty of cheating on his wife. After suffering from the same, she could dream of subjecting another woman to her fate.

Ekansh shook his head in denial, “You?” he asked.

“Not anymore,” Darika replied, relieved, and kissed him again.

Her response initially puzzled him, but clarity came as they settled into a nearby coffee shop. Darika recounted the events of her life to Ekansh, sharing photos of her children and disclosing her husband's infidelity.

Later that night, on the terrace of the guest house, Darika released her pent-up pain through tears. With her head nestled on Ekansh's chest, she found solace in his comforting presence during this tumultuous time. He was the one person in the world who could ease her suffering.

“So, you bought his guest house,” Darika remarked. The following morning, they were at a café having breakfast. Despite their love for one another, they had spent the night in separate bedrooms. Neither was eager to take the big step just yet. It didn’t feel right to either of them.

“Technically, I didn’t buy it; I just funded it out of the profit I make from my business,” Ekansh replied.

“It’s more or less like buying it,” Darika argued.

“I’m not the owner on the paper. Raghuveer is,” Ekansh said.

“Does it make you profit?” she quizzed.

“In terms of money, no,” said Ekansh comprehensively, “but it holds a special place in my heart. I couldn’t see it go out of business. It’s too important to me. It was our place.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t fight for us all those years ago,” said Darika ruefully, “I should have married you.”

Taking her hand into his, Ekansh said, “You still can,” their gaze met and held as she contemplated his words.

After two decades, Darika and Ekansh reignited their relationship, their love undiminished by the passing years. It blazed as fiercely in their hearts as it did in their youth. Six months later, Darika gathered her children and shared the story of Ekansh, recounting their college love and their eventual separation.

Initially stoic, Sumit remained unaffected, while Sarika's excitement bubbled over upon hearing the news. She rejoiced for her mother, believing she finally deserved happiness after her father's betrayal. Sarika was particularly moved by Ekansh's steadfast dedication over the years, and any lingering doubts were dispelled upon their first meeting.

Despite his persistent attempts, Sarika and Sumit remained resolute in their refusal to engage with their father. In their eyes, he was akin to being non-existent. Moreover, being over eighteen, he lacked the authority to coerce them into meeting him.

The divorce proceedings concluded swiftly, with Darika opting not to pursue any material assets in the settlement. The importance of unwavering loyalty trumped any monetary gain, recognising that wealth couldn't mend the breach of trust. Following her divorce, Darika and Ekansh tied the knot, prompting her to relocate halfway across the country to join her new husband. The trials of life had purged all prejudice from her mother's heart, warmly embracing Ekansh as her son-in-law.

Choosing Shimla for their honeymoon, the couple found the guest house renovated and adorned for their special occasion. Despite Darika's age, she enjoyed a healthy pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful daughter, symbolising their enduring love. Though unplanned, they welcomed their child with joy. Sarika and Sumit embraced their new role as elder siblings with delight, while Sumit gradually warmed up to Ekansh, accepting him as a father figure in his life. End

By Animesh Yadav

For All Time

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