By Harleen Kaur
I knew we were doomed from the start.
Still I went ahead, not wanting to part.
Was I a coward for loving you?
Or selfish for keeping you?
Does love lie in letting you go?
Not fighting for an ever more?
You pushed, I pursued.
My silly heart, you misused.
You begged to let go,
I tightened my hold.
You said no, I craved more.
Even if it meant losing my core.
It would never work, they said.
How could I not even try, Astrid?
You lit my veins in a million stars
I was high on you, floating afar.
Your touch burned me in divine ways
Your words slept with me for days.
You were an incarnation of your namesake
A beautiful goddess to bless us peasants.
You loved me, you cared, you smiled at me
And I lit up like a child on Christmas morning.
I was lost in the haze of mindless euphoria
Astrid, you made me want to be better.
I cried, I tried and I failed
You were still uncertain and afraid.
I love you but we are impossible, you said
Your lack of trust, it broke me Astrid.
I made you mine through nights long
Only to watch you step back at dawn.
I was wretched, I screamed
Like a fish in air, I floundered.
I fluttered like a bird with broken wings
My heart lay fractured in sharp glass pieces.
I limped like an animal with torn limbs
Because I was limp without you, Astrid.
You left like you came, in a whirlwind
While I was left miserable and gasping.
My tears leak like smoke from fire
I am weeping, then fuming with cold ire.
Why couldn't you fight for us, Astrid?
Didn't I deserve even a little effort?
I have lost my mind, I am unhinged
Did you want to see me hurt, Astrid?
That is the problem with me
When I feel, I drown in it completely.
Your love, how I craved desperately!
Now I writhe in my own agony.
We can't force others to feel as deeply
That is the hard slap of cold reality.
You didn't even try to consider me
I longed for a chance of passion, truly.
Even if you chose to give up and flee, darling
I will keep swimming in our memories, smiling.
By Harleen Kaur
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